I'm still here...I think...

Yeah, so, my last post was back in October and I was complaining about how busy I was and that I should be caught up in a little while. Right... Now it's almost the end of November. I don't think I really, truly realized how behind I was. On top of that, I've been busy with family...either having them visit me or me visiting them. Don't get me wrong, I really love being with my family. A couple years ago, I don't know if I would have said that, but perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know. Being 4 1/2 hours away is not so conducive to frequent visits, even though I think I can keep up with it. I basically lose an entire day driving. It sucks, to say the least. Maybe I need to be closer??...

Or maybe I need to just keep up with all of my work stuff so that I can have time for fun things.

Every thing I'm behind on is all work stuff. The thing is that when I cross one thing off of my list, I remember two or three more things that I need to add. I don't really know how I got so far behind. I guess that just going to work, trying my best, and coming home at the end of the day isn't just good enough. Don't ever become a teacher. You think that it's going to be all about hanging out with kids and encouraging them...but, it's not. It's all about paperwork and money and parents. I'm sure that's not just the case with being a teacher. I'm sure lots of other jobs have a lot of shit to deal with that aren't told to you upon being hired. No one tells you this when you are in college or grad school, either. No one tells you that it's really about how many clients you can see and how much money you can bring in and that you won't actually see any of that money in order to advance your program. You have to fight to get what you have. No one tells you that you won't just work from 8-4. No, you'll work longer hours than that doing paperwork, writing reports, making homework, billing, emailing. And you'll spend even more time worrying about things that you don't have finished yet. It will ruin your nights and weekends. It will stress you out trying to get caught up that you will have to eat tums and look up what anxiety attack symptoms are on Web MD because your chest is pounding and your left arm hurts.

The thing is that I never learn my lesson. Procrastination is a nasty, nasty habit. Don't befriend it. It's not nice. And when you want it to leave, it won't. I keep thinking that if I can just get caught up I'll be okay. The thing is that I don't know what it will take to get caught up, because, like I said, when I cross one thing off, two or three more things get added. It never ends. It ends when summer break comes. And I have some repreive. But, I don't know if I was meant to work like this. A friend once told me that basically, I shouldn't complain about how much I work because I have summers off and that makes up for it. I guess it does. Maybe.

Anyway, I'm complaining too much. And I have so many ideas for other things to post about. Like my NYC trip or Thanksgiving or seasons. I'll save those for later. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow. I keep putting off writing about these things and I really shouldn't. I'll be back soon.