Saturday, September 3, 2011

Turning 30

I turn 30 tomorrow. I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this is a big deal, but I am. I've been reflecting quite a bit about it. I've also been looking forward from it. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel in my 30's. When I turned 20, I had so many possibilities in front of me...graduating college, going to grad school, getting a job, getting my own place, growing up, figuring out who I am. I knew that my 20's held the promise of adulthood. And now, I guess I'm an adult, although I still feel like I'm just 17. I have graduated college, graduated grad school, have worked for 6 years and am starting my 7th year, have a car, have an apartment, pay bills... I guess I just don't know what to expect in my 30's. I have hopes, but I don't want to jinx myself.

Over the past several months, I've been thinking of all of the things that I've done and experienced in my 30 years. I've been to 25 states (actually 28, but I'm not counting airports or states that I didn't really get a feel for), been in 3 countries, and have flown only 3 trips. I've seen both the Pacific and the Atlantic Ocean and have seen 4 Great Lakes. I've been to weddings and funerals. I've held babies and comforted the elderly. I've learned how to walk, talk, read, write, drive, use a computer, play the drums, and have learned more than I can possibly remember. I've had friends and enemies. I've loved, cried, laughed and hoped.

I've also been thinking about what life could hold for the next 30 years (yep, just like the Tim McGraw song...maybe that's why I'm thinking about turning 30). Most things I'm too afraid to say outloud for fear that they won't come true. But, in my heart, I have dreams.

So, here's to the next 30 years and the dreams that will be fulfilled!

Friday, August 12, 2011


Sunset. Dusk. To say this is my favorite time of day is a gross understatement. Summer sunset drives on back country roads are what calm me, ground me, center me. To experience one of these drives is for one to begin to understand my soul. The sight surpasses description. The sounds are soothing. The smell, the smell transports me back to a much simpler time of sitting on a front porch swing with someone who was very important to me. I feel this time of day with every fiber of my being. I feel it so deep down in my soul that if it would cease to exist I fear that I would shrivel up and die. Dusk. The time when the world calms. The day is finished, no need to rush off anywhere. The time to pause, reflect, consider. The time to realize that there is something bigger, that you are a part of something bigger, something outside of the chaos man creates. Words, pictures cannot do justice to this display. Images, sounds will be kept in the recesses of the mind and soul and used when tired and weary.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

A little recap...

Well, I guess that November was a while ago, huh?!? Apparently I was busier than I thought. Or, maybe I just neglected blogging.

Anyway, I've now finished another school year and am in the middle of summer vacation. While this past school year started out better because we had 4 therapists instead of 2, it just ended badly. In the end, everyone was creating drama about everyone else and now I'm asking myself who I should really trust in the department. The economic situation in the state has caught up to the school districts and the district has cut back on a lot of things. Luckily, the worst of it was just shuffling people around and only laying off a handful of staff/teachers. Although, they keep telling us that this next year will be the worst of it. Right now, I'm thankful to have a job and will continue to work on building up my savings and paying off debt in case things do get worse. This coming year, the district is opening up a new building that will house all of our 4, 5, and 6th grade students. So, this means I get a new building and have to set it up when I go back in a few weeks. In addition to a new building, we all moved rooms in the building I am currently in, so I get to set up another whole room too. But, at least I'm now out of a closet sized room and into an actual classroom. I'm looking forward to the next school year and hopefully pulling everyone together in the department. I'm already brainstorming ways to do this. We'll see what happens.

In other news, I've been going to a Catholic Church for about 8 or 9 months. I started to go because I've always been kind of curious about the Catholic Faith. I've found it to be humble and reverent and actually kind of refreshing. After being submerged in the "contemporary" wave of churches in college, it's kind of nice to kind of get back to the basics. I'd love to know any thoughts anyone has on the Catholic Church. I'm so new at all of it and I'm still forming my opinion about it. I've read a book on it, but it seemed to be more about how the Catholic Church was the original church and the "right" way. I'd like to find more information about their beliefs. We'll see where it all leads. I just want to make sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons and not because my good friends at work are Catholic or because I'm just church shopping.

My family is doing pretty well. My mom seems to have improved, although she still has a hard time getting up from a chair. She has fallen 5 times in the past year, which has all of us scared. My dad turned 80 in December and has good days and bad days, I guess like we all do.

Well, I guess that's a pretty good recap. Now I'll have to just keep up on blogging.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What?!? The last time I posted was November? Guess I need to get back to blogging... Soon, I promise.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


A few weeks ago, someone told me that I had integrity. I'm still mulling over what that means. I'd never had anyone tell me that before. I even had to look it up in the dictionary. I'm trying to figure out what it means to me and why someone would say that because I don't feel like I do. So, I'm wondering, what does integrity mean to you?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Seasons Change

This is a post that I've been meaning to write every time the season changes for about the past year and a half, but I just never sat down to do it.

I love the change in seasons. This may be contradictory to my life because I've never been a huge fan of change in general, but I love when the seasons change.

One of the questions that I ask my students, in an effort to spark conversation, is "What is your favorite season (winter, spring, summer or fall). I'd have to say that my favorite season is the time when they change. I feel like it's a starting over. Just when you get tired of the heat of summer, fall comes along and changes it up, brings cool breezes and pretty colors. When you get tired of the drab brown of fall after the leaves have blown away, along comes the cleansing white of winter snow and brightens up those dreary days. When you are so tired of being cold and seeing brown slush everywhere, along comes the smell of warming soil and new blooms of spring. When you get tired of the April showers, along comes the warm, sunny days of summer. And when you get tired of the heat and brown, dried out grass, the cycle starts again.

I really like all of the seasons. I don't think that I could live in a place that didn't have all four seasons. In addition to the refreshment that each change in season brings me, I hold a special place in my heart for each season. Fall brings back to school and pumpkins and fall fests. I grew to love fall in college when a friend of mine and I were in charge of the fall fest that our student activities office held. Seeing it all come together and seeing so many people enjoy it was amazing! Fall also brings Thanksgiving, which has many memories itself. I remember the smell of turkey in the oven. I remember gettting up and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. I remember packing up the car with turkey, gravy and pies and heading to Grandma's house. I remember sitting on the stairs at my Grandma's house watching the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and watching the bustle of the women in my family in the kitchen.

Winter brings snow! I love snow! It's because it makes everything clean and calm. Have you ever been outside when it is snowing? Everything becomes quite. It insulates. And when the sun, or moon, hits snow, it's brilliant! My favorite part in "Twas the Night Before Christmas" is "And the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of midday to objects below." And Winter brings Christmas and New Years and family and more memories. Memories of sled riding, of opening presents, of going back to Grandma's house and being with aunts and uncles and cousins. And winter brings a sense of hibernation. Of resting.

Spring brings the smell of baseball! Yes, I said the smell of baseball. I can smell baseball. It has to do with the smell of warm dirt and the smell of the breeze. Each year I wait and wait and finally, one morning, I'll take a deep breath and I can smell it! And then I start hoping and beliving that the Pirates will pull off a miracle season! And spring brings the smell of flowers. Of lilacs and hyacynths. And spring brings Easter and more memories of Grandma's house. Easter dinner with cousins and aunts and uncles. And eating boston cream pie and ham and scalloped potatoes. It brings memories of fishing in the pond at my Grandma's farm...and of "catching" my cousins finger with my fishing hook.

Summer brings no school! And when I was a kid, it brought my friends from Oklahoma! It brings memories of fireflies and being at the Big House. It brings bon fires and talks long into the night. It brings mowing the grass and rides on the John Deere. It brings family reunions. It brings memories of staying at Grandma's house, even though I was scared and didn't want to be away from my mommy! It brings memories of being stung by a bee at Grandma's and Grandma taking care of me and putting a paste of baking soda and something on it. It brings memories of Grandma reading "Little Brown Cocoa" and saying our prayers before bed.

So, as you can see, I love all of the seasons, I love the change in seasons. Maybe I just love weather? They say songs and smells can bring memories to a persons mind. Maybe seasons have the same effect?

Friday, August 20, 2010

New Year's Eve/Happy New Year

Anyone confused yet?

I'm getting ready for a new year. My calendar does not run January to December. My calendar runs from September to August. When you work in a school, the "next year" does not refer to one year, such as 2011, but rather refers to a school year, such as 2010-2011. So, when I refer to last year, it could be a few months ago.
Anyway, my new year will be starting soon. So, I'll spend the next few days fitting in some "rushed" relaxing, if that makes sense. I'll also be reflecting and hypothesizing about the new school year. I'll set resolutions, just as normal people do in January.
So, if you don't mind, I'm going to go get some noise makers and some bubbly of some kind and send this year off and start the new one out right, hopefully.