Welcome, Hayden!!!

I know that this isn't really my news to share, but I just got the call...

Hayden John Tyler Jackson
9-24-08
3:05 p.m. (that's the time his great grandma thought he was born)

I'll leave the rest of the details to Sandy to tell.

Congratulations Sandy, David and Erin!!!
I can't wait to meet him!!!!

Family Dynamics

A week or so ago Sandy wrote a post about how her family has changed. Today, my sister and I had a similar conversation about our family. So, I thought I'd post part of an email that covers some of my thoughts on the matter.

I read your blog post about things not being
the same as you remember them. It's crazy, isn't it? I think that's
what happens when you become an adult. I've been thinking about your post
and how true that is for my family too and I'm wondering if that's the "loss of
innocence" they talk about...or at least one facet of it. I don't know
about you, but when I look back at growing up, I usually remember the good
parts, the feelings of belonging and being part of something important and
big. And now I look at it and just see the brokenness and lonelyness and
wish that it could go back to the way it was. Maybe things really were
like that...warm and cozy. Maybe they weren't. Maybe it's because we
now realize the responsibilities our parents and grandparents had to take on to
make life like that for us. Maybe it's because times have changed.
Or maybe this happens to everyone as they grow up...even as far back as our
great great grandparents. Who knows. All I know is that I still long
for that feeling of belonging and wish that family was as close as I
remember us all being. But, I do think that the thing that
causes change is that some of that "glue" that held our families
together...our grandparents, our aunts, our great aunts, whoever...have
passed on and taken the memories and the strength with them. But,
perhaps it's just the passing of a torch from one family member to the
next. Now it's our turn to make that feeling of belonging for others in
our family, our turn to remember the memories and pass them on, our turn to
insist on traditions that will hold our family together. Somebody
wrote a comment about not being able to go back home. I think
you can go back home. But, we just have to remember that, just as we grew
when we moved away from home, our families grew when we moved away too.
Although I have a hard time digesting that.

I'm still trying to figure out my role in my family
now that I'm an adult. And in some ways, I don't think that some of my
family views me as an adult. I often still feel like I'm being treated
like a 12 year old by some people. And I don't know how to handle
that.

They Really Like Me!!

I think I said this in another post... I'm trying to focus on the positives of my job. There are so many things that I don't like, that I need to find the good things.

Well, yesterday and today were good days at work. I've been reaffirmed as to why I like to work with kids... Yesterday and today were some of the first days that I've seen "my kids" this year. I've been busy doing paperwork and setting up my therapy schedule. So, the best part of my job is seeing the kids faces either in the hall or when I show up at the door for the first time during the school year. They light up! I've had several students see me in the hall and make a point of asking "when can I come to speech?" or "when can I come and see you?". Teachers have told me that their students had been asking when speech was going to start. One student even did the little "yes!" hand-pump when I knocked on her classroom door and asked her teacher if I could see her. That made my whole day!!

This is why I like working with kids...

Birthday!

Turning 27 was much better than turning 26! Even though I spent it at work...all day (tonight was parent night, so all the teachers had to be there...happy birthday to me), this years birthday was much better than last years. I'm not sure why, but I'm feeling good about turing this age.

Baseball and Western TV shows...These are a few of my favorite things!!!

My parents and one sister were down at my place this past weekend. It was nice, but I always hate to see them leave and it takes me a couple days to adjust back to the normal routine of living alone. I go through the same thing when I go home (to my parents) and then have to come back to my place. It just seems so empty.
Anyway, we had a nice time. My dad went to a woodworking store and a seed store, so he seemed happy. My mom was able to get into my apartment and kept remarking that she really liked my place. She's trying to convince my dad to come back at the end of October...I think she'll win him over to the idea. My sister, Karen, is such a good person. She is always willing to help me out. It seems like she is always helping me to either pack or unpack boxes since I've moved so many times. But she never complains, only asks what else she can do to help. I'm so blessed to have her as my sister and blessed that we are best friends.
We also celebrated my birthday a few days early. My parents bought me a grill! My dad and I put that together on Sunday and it was actually easier to put together than I thought it would be. They also bought me the 3rd season of Little House on the Prairie! I love Little House on the Prairie!!!! Seriously...you have no idea! If I could only go back in time, I'd go back to that time in history. My sister bought me gift cards to Starbucks and iTunes and a Pittsburgh Pirates t-shirt. To be more exact, it's a PNC Park t-shirt! I love baseball and the Pittsburgh Pirates...probably with the same ferocity that I love Little House on the Prairie, maybe even more! Oh...and...my mom made me Oh Henry Bars... These things are amazing...much better than any typical birthday cake! I'm not talking about the candy bar. This is Rice Krispies mixed with hot sugar and corn syrup and peanut butter. Pour that in a pan and let is set. Then heat chocolate bits in the microwave and pour that on top of the rice krispie mixture. It's heaven!! Anyway, Karen found Pittsburgh Pirate batting helmet candles at a party store and put those on the Oh Henry Bars! How perfect...chocolate, peanut butter and the Pirates!! It was an awesome birthday a few days early!
But, now it's back to the normal work week and all the joys that that brings.........

Long Weekend!

Well, somehow I survived the first week...four days...of school. Granted, it wasn't a normal week. I didn't see students. I spent the entire week going through paperwork, talking to teachers, trying to set up my schedule and organizing my room. And the craziness begins. This year, my goal is to not take things so personally. When a parent has a complaint or my supervisor or prinicipal asks me to do yet one more thing or when a teacher questions my rationale, I won't take it personally. I always carry those things around, as if it was some attack on me as a person. I need to learn to let it go. I've had to remind myself that serveral times this week. I've had to tell myself to not get worked up and that I really do know what I'm doing (for the most part). And hopefully by doing that, I will have a better year. That's the hope, at least.

My family is coming down to my place this weekend...my mom, dad and one of my sisters. They're coming to spend the long weekend with me. It's one of the reasons I moved. I wanted to make sure my family could stay with me and not in a hotel. So, I moved to a first floor apartment so my parents wouldn't have to do the 20 some steep stairs. It's also nice for carrying in the groceries, I must admit :) So, we'll hang out at my place, they'll help me do some things (plant mums, figure out how to make tie backs for my curtains, help me pick out lamps) and we'll go see the sights in Amish Country. And, of course, we'll go out to eat at one or two of those Amish Country restaurants that are famous for their down home cooking...mmm...

But, for now, it's time to stop procrastinating and get back to laundry, dishes, and sorting through boxes before they come!

Have a great weekend...anyone else up to anything fun this weekend?

Why I Need to Blog

"No man is an island" - John Donne

This quote is one of the few things I remember from my three semesters of humanities in college. In fact, I even had to look up the author of the quote before posting this. In any case, this has stuck with me and often comes to mind. If I remember correctly from class discussions, this quote basically means that man (or woman) can't exist by themselves, they need to have others around them, to interact with. Last night I watched "Into the Wild". Pretty good movie. If you haven't seen it...stop reading now. The movie is about a guy who basically removes himself from society...living pretty much without material things, he burns his money, walks the country and finally ends up in the Alaskan wilderness. He's trying to find happiness. He lives in the wilderness alone, finding shelter and food and creating a pretty good life for himself. When he thinks he is content, he tries to go back home, only to find that he can't...he's stranded. At the end of the movie, when he realizes that he can't go back to people, he writes down his understanding of happiness: "happiness only real when shared".

I often feel like I am on this search for happiness. In the last 5 years I have lived in three different towns. All of the towns were at least 1 1/2 hours from where I grew up. The more I move, the further away I go. I feel like if I keep moving, I'll find that thing that has been illuding me...happiness. But I haven't found it yet, and I'm getting tired of the search.

I tend to keep all of my thoughts inside. When I hang out with friends, I usually steer the conversation to how they are doing or other topics and I don't let it get to how I am or what my life is. I seem to do that best through really long emails to them. I also live by myself, so I have no one to share things with at the end of the day...good or bad. So, that is my hope for my blog. That it will be a place where I can share my day, good or bad, where I can share my thoughts. I'm not a very good writer. I tend to ramble. I tend to make bigger deals out of things than I probably should. So, maybe I should call this blog my online therapy.

Hopefully my introductory blog wasn't too heavy. Perhaps I should say the other reason why I decided to blog... I read my friends blogs and their friends blogs and blogs of people I don't know. And when something fun happens to me, I find myself wondering how I would post that on a blog...what wording I would use! So, I thought maybe it was time to start my own :)